Giving Thanks - The Most Important Person in My Tennis Development

For most players who achieve even a fairly high level of play, either their mom or dad or their coach would be considered the most important person in their tennis development.  After all, some moms and dads spend literally hours a day on court with their children, driving their kids to tournaments, dealing with the aftermath of wins and losses, and helping shape the character of their child.  The Coach spends hours a week with the player, guiding and shaping their games into the flower that blossoms before our eyes on the court.

My parents, though supportive of my efforts to play tennis, did not spend hours on the court with me each week.  Yes, they drove me to the courts when necessary, took me to tournaments and club matches when necessary.  But they didn't stay on the court when I took clinics, or hover around practices, and aside from "mother or father son time" when I was 6 or 7, never took me out on the court to hit balls.  During my "formative years" 12-17, I was my own transportation to the swim and racquet club we belonged to.  I rode my bike everywhere;  to club matches at various clubs within our city, and got rides with other families if the club matches or tournaments were away and my mom couldn't take me.  I solely dictated when I played, how I played, and with whom I played, my parents never suggested that I go play.   And I played every day of every summer from 6-14, and virtually every day of the year from age 14-18.  If I wanted to go play, my parents always let me go.  But as far as being INVOLVED in my actual tennis development, neither played a vital role.

I never had a coach who was responsible for my tennis development.  Yes, I had team coaches, both at our swim and racquet club, and at our high school.  While great people, none of them were coaches in the sense of doing things that could help improve your game technically, tactically, emotionally, or physically.  I never took a private lesson growing up.  In fact the first lesson I ever took was at age 22 with nothing specific in mind.  The second and last private lesson I took was to learn how to hit a one handed slice at age 24 so I could pass the USPTA exam. I had the occasion to take two indoor high performance clinics sessions - One 8 week session at age 14 and another at age 17 that was cut short by an MCL tear.  About 5 times I went to a weekend High Performance clinic with the best players in our area, but I can't say they had a profound impact on my tennis.  None of those clinics or teams had a radical effect on my tennis development, other than to give me the opportunity to compete against different players than I normally played against.

I learned how to play primarily from watching matches on TV and then spending hours upon hours on the court trying to somehow replicate what I saw.  Some of this time involved me hitting against the wall at our swim and tennis club, and some of it involved me taking two cans of tennis balls with  me to the courts and serving for an hour. I did these things frequently.

However, there was also a person with whom I played tennis with four to five times a week for almost 6 years.  I met him when I was 11 and he was 10.  We met at the swim and racquet club as part of our club team.  Perhaps ironically, our older brothers were doubles partners for one year and during that season won the District high school championship and represented our high school at the state championships.  Like our brothers, Ken and Paul, respectively, Steve Soliday and I won the district doubles title two years in a row and represented the same high school two years in a row at the state championships.

Not only were Steve and I tennis practice partners, we were best friends.  His mother was essentially a second mother to me, as I spent a lot of time at his house.  We played tennis probably 320 days out of 365 together for 5-6 years.  Many times we would play for 3-4 hours at once.  It was my time on the court with Steve that I developed my game.  My father used to ask me "Can't you find someone else to play with?"  Perhaps, but he was always willing and available.  Reliable.  That was important to me.

As kids, through high school, we would read Tennis Magazine (wen it was actually interesting) and try out some of their games and drills.  The "ultimate game of touch" was a favorite.  We would play best 3 of five sets, thus pushing ourselves physically and mentally.  We did a lot of "pepper" or quick volleys, we both liked playing the net.  These games are responsible for what at one point were very good hands and pretty good volleying skills for me.

Steve was always a good returner of serve, so it forced me to improve both my first and second serve.  As a younger player, I was more of a "pusher" and Steve was a more aggressive player.  I would get the better of him just because of consistency.  When Steve would beat me, and this happened five or six times during those 5-6 years, I would get so irritated that I lost to him, that I would make some radical change so it wouldn't happen again.  One in particular I remember, was he beat me at an indoor tournament when I was 15.  Straight sets.  Was only the second time he'd ever beaten me.  The fallout from that match was severe.  I can remember my father saying to me when I got home (I rode my bike to the tournament) "How are you losing to Steve?"  Since I had no coach, I to come up with a solution.  In my mind, if he could beat me once, he could beat me again, and I did not want that to happen.

So after a few months of closer matches which I was again winning, but now in three sets instead of two, I decided that I needed to follow my heart and start serving and volleying, at least on the first serve.  I would also start attacking the net on second serves.  Soon I was again beating him as I had been prior to the indoor loss.  My game had improved.

Even though I got the better of our matches growing up, he was the standard by which I measured my game.  I knew that he could beat people I had no chance of beating, because his game was always "bigger" than my game.  The guys he struggled with, the guys he would lose to but "should" have been beating, I would always beat those players.  But he had wins against players I went 0-for against. Even then, I knew his ceiling was higher than mine.  At that time, all that was important to me was staying one step ahead.

He was more natural athlete, the more gifted player.  I was the workhorse.  To stay ahead of him I played and practiced perhaps twice as much as he did.  If that ever was to stop (which it did)  by virtue of me not practicing or he practicing more, I knew he would overtake me.  That's how much respect I had for him and his game.  You can just see things when you play someone alnost every day for that long a period of time.

Eventually he would overtake me.  He smartly left FSU and played four years of college tennis at Salisbury university.  Once that happened, he would either beat me or I would somehow get lucky and split sets.  Wins for me were no longer part of the dynamic.  But he was still the measuring stick by which I would judge my own success.

So fast forward to 2014.  I move to Charlotte to take a tennis teaching job, and Steve is living in Charlotte.  He invites me to play in a 12 person doubles "league" on Wednesday nights.  Knowing that he is playing at a higher level than me now, my sole goal in this league is to somehow play well enough to move "up" within the group in order to play on his court, and then to win one set of doubles AGAINST him.  He STILL is the measuring stick of my tennis at age 40.  Some things are just hardwired in your psyche.  Pretty unbelievable when I sit back and think about it.

So without a doubt, the most important person in my own tennis development is Steve Soliday.  I doubt he knows that, but it is the truth.  Without him being such a big part of my life, I'm not sure I'd even be a tennis teaching professional.  That's how important he was to my tennis.  So this Thanksgiving, I'm giving much thanks to having him as a friend and tennis partner.  Happy Thanksgiving.                .