Needless to say my approach to the player in question was not well-received by pros and high school coaches alike. Their opinion - which was often relayed to me in passive aggression, was that as the player's coach, it was my job to promote high school tennis to the player. Others insinuated that I needed to exercise some form of control over the player, and use my relationship with them to "force" the player to play high school tennis. Many believed that I was actively steering the player away from high school tennis, which to some was a form of disrespect to those within the high school tennis coaching circles and to the other players that were playing at the time.
The central disagreement that I had with the other pros and coaches alike, was that ultimately it is the player's decision to decide if high school tennis was a good fit for them. The tact I took with the player in question was one where I simply gave all the information regarding high school tennis, from an unbiased perspective. I gave the player the pros and the cons, and explained to the player how playing high school tennis could help achieve her goals, and how it could hurt those goals as well. I explained cases of players who played high school tennis and went on to play professionally, and also explained how many players that play professional tennis, and even college tennis at a high level, never played high school tennis. We even had an example in Tallahassee of players who didn't play high school tennis and are playing for FSU. I also explained to the player that for me personally, playing high school tennis was very important, but that I also understood why one may feel reluctant to do it at all.
Many of those who disagreed with my position, focused solely on my putting forth of the negatives of playing high school tennis. What they didn't want to understand, or didn't try to understand, was that my goal was not to make the decision for the player. My goal was to allow the player to make an informed decision on their own, where they would weigh their goals, and the pros and the cons, and come to a decision that they would feel comfortable with. Sometimes negatives are only negative as they pertain to someone's goals. If you think about it, I'm sure you can find a negative for anything, including winning the lottery.
Some thought that my approach meant that I felt that the player was "too good" for high school tennis. That was never the case at all. A good coach listens to what the player wants, what they like and what they don't like as far as the game, and then explains to them how the team activity will have parts they like and parts they don't like. That is primarily where the "negatives" come from. The other part that rubbed people the wrong way was my non-answers as to whether or not the player would play at all. My standard answer was always along the lines of "if [the player] decides it's best for [them] then they'll play." I honestly had no clue what the ultimate decision would be.
Some of my peers focused on the life lessons that high school tennis would teach the players. And that that alone was reason enough to "push" the player towards that end. However, if the goal of any coach is to make the player a better person, to lead them to becoming more and more self-sufficient, and to teach the player to take responsibility for their own path in life, then how could I in good conscious "make" the player do something? Rather it was all about the player learning to take responsibility for their own game, to take all the information into consideration, and make the best decision possible. After all, this is a skill that will help the player for the rest of their life.
So after the player won the City Championships yesterday, my first thoughts were about how the player made this decision themselves, and how I was right not to force them into anything. I was especially proud that the decision is one they are happy with, and even more proud that they are a more mature, well-rounded person for having to make the decision on their own. And I know in the future , that when it comes to making life decisions, the player will be more than capable of doing it themselves.
